Barry “no blood on my hands” Matthews has a cun­ning plan to save his ass from fir­ing. He is aim­ing for pub­lic sym­pa­thy by killing off pris­on­ers at Pare­moremo, think­ing that peo­ple will side with him by get­ting rid of these par­a­sites on society.

A sec­ond pris­oner has died at the prison in as many weeks.

So far Matthews depart­ment has saved $140,000 per annum with the deaths of the two losers. I reckon they should have an active pro­gramme on sav­ings in this man­ner and should imme­di­ately ensure there is a sturdy hook, a length of rope (with knot tying instruc­tions) and a rick­ety stool in each cell as stan­dard issue.

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

Pork Chop aka Rachel Glu­cina and self described beached minke whale has a bloody cheek to embla­zon the front page of Spy with a photo of Frank Bunce and call­ing him “Fat Frank”. Then to top off her egre­gious rude­ness likens Rod­ney Hide to the Miche­lin Man.

I have taken the lib­erty of putting a more truth­ful image of Pork Chop on the front page. Word also has it that the Sky City Hotel is still recov­er­ing from the daily demands of room ser­vice on floor 19. Appar­ently sev­eral times guests on other floors weren’t able to order any­thing from the menu except salads.

The Her­ald on Sun­day really needs to be talk­ing to the huge porker about her weight issues.

Pork Chop needs to get into the gym instead of get­ting into the all you can eat smorgasbord.

For the record Frank Bunce looks like he was snapped at a train­ing ses­sion which is more than can be said for the snaps I keep get­ting sent of Pork Chop who seems to be train­ing for a new real­ity show called Who can Stuff the most in their Gob.

Pork Chop needs a lit­tle sound slim­ming advice or what­ever he is tak­ing from Ricardo.

One good thing though for Fatty Rachy is she clearly isn’t on the “burn”.

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The Cock from Camp­bells Bay, Mayor Andrew Williams, seems to have undue inter­est in alco­hol. His lastest dal­liance with the bot­tle is to try and poke puerile fun at Mayor Banks from Auckland.

It seems that he has insisted that the North Shore City Coun­cil stock a brand of wine called “Stop Banks”. Oh hardy har har. Andrew Williams would do bet­ter to cut out the late night email­ing and tex­ting and stop wor­ry­ing about John Banks and get his own city in order.

Since he is being puerile I thought I would find some wines to describe him. Seems there are even beers as well.

3 Fools Wine

Hard Cock Wines and Beers

Silly Fool Wines

UPDATE: Astute read­ers have advised me of the following;

Big Cock Bar­ley Wine Ale

There is a Chi­nese Fish Sauce sim­ply named Cock

Oleanz Estates have the Big Cock Vine­yard a Caber­net Sauvignon/Cabernet Franc

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

Today is the start of the fan­tas­tic 90 Pro­ba­tion Period com­ing into force today.

Finally employ­ers wll be able to take a punt on an employee to see if it work out with­out the spec­tre of being har­rassed for a pay­out from some mal-content. Employ­ees could quit at will and now Employ­ers can let go some­one who isn’t adding value to their busi­ness in the first 90 days.

Appallingly though Trevor Mal­lard has upset retail­ers with his sug­ges­tion peo­ple should not look for jobs in firms employ­ing fewer than 20 peo­ple, because they will just be fired before their pro­ba­tion is up.

Under­stand­ably this has upset employ­ers and just shows how cal­lous Labour are when they’d rather score a cheap polit­i­cal point than get on and help build the coun­try up.

Cameron Brewer the nice guy from the New­mar­ket Busi­ness Asso­ci­a­tion has called the com­ment “ridicu­lous and irre­spon­si­ble” and says that 80 per cent of the New Zealand’s busi­nesses are small, and they are just not in the busi­ness of hir­ing and fir­ing staff for the sake of it.

Labour would be taken more seri­ously if they didn’t just bla­tently lie all the time. You would think they had learned that after their appalling “Trust” ad cam­paign failed so dis­mally a the election.

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

Edi­to­r­ial: Time may be right to ask what tax cuts will cost us – It is lit­tle won­der that Prime Min­is­ter John Key has refused to guar­an­tee that the tax cuts promised for next year and 2011 will go ahead. The tax-cut pro­gramme that National took to the coun­try in Novem­ber amounted to $4.4 bil­lion… [NZ Her­ald Pol­i­tics]

The left­ist echo cham­ber like to think the NZ Her­ald are National party mouth pieces whereas most of us on the right think they are pinko swine with a few good apples in the mix.

The edi­to­r­ial today, again, calls for National to break elec­tion promises. It is an out­rage and it is entirely based on the false premise that tax-cuts cost the gov­ern­ment. They do not and they are part of the stim­u­lus pack­age putting money into peo­ples hands so they can spend it how they like not how the gov­ern­ment likes.

For too long we have had politi­cians treat promises like dis­pos­able nap­kins to be thrown away when no longer needed. National must change that per­cep­tion and resist silly calls for them to break their promises.

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

Bill Ral­ston: Early days but it’s all good – They did it. They have passed 100 days in power. Woo-hoo. Only 900 or more to go now before they face another elec­tion. Being in gov­ern­ment is a marathon not a sprint but there is no doubt National has had a dream start. Well,… [NZ Her­ald Pol­i­tics]

Bill Ral­ston reviews the first 100 days and some cab­i­net per­son­al­i­ties. The best com­ments are about Judith “Crusher” Collins and Paula Bennett.

Police and Cor­rec­tions Min­is­ter Judith “Crusher” Collins is a per­fect fit for her port­fo­lios, whether giv­ing her slack prison boss a Liv­er­pool kiss or pul­veris­ing the cars of boy rac­ers, she makes Act’s David Gar­rett look like a lib­eral limp-wristed pantywaist.

Edu­ca­tion Min­is­ter Anne Tol­ley earned the undy­ing loy­alty of a future gen­er­a­tion of vot­ers by let­ting the evil pie and sausage roll sneak back into tuck­shops across the nation.

The other tough sheila at the cab­i­net table, Paula Ben­nett, may have copped the sneers of the chardon­nay set for her Westie ways and rais­ing a fam­ily that sounds increas­ingly like the cast of Out­ra­geous For­tune but the elec­torate only seem to have embraced her for it.

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

It seems the the­ory of Funny First Name Syn­drome is being con­firmed almost daily. This morn­ing I received this email about FFNS.

Greet­ings,
just to sup­port your the­ory, my cousin broke out of Mt Eden recently ( I did not know he was in prison) and was recap­tured the next day by AOS. His name……. Storm!
Some one who I have knowl­edge of is a 27 year old man who lives with his mother and spends all day in his room on the com­puter eat­ing copi­ous amounts of junk food.
His name…… Avery, no con­vic­tions yet but watch this space.
Love your work
C

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

Cac­tus Kate lists 5 dumb ideas from the jobs sum­mit and gives two of her own.

Half Done has February’s rank­ings and Tumeke has January’s rank­ing….hmmm I won­der which one is the programmer.

Brid­get Saun­ders has advice for chicks about nerds geeks drips twerps twats dorks

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

Search in Hunua for miss­ing man

A man with the men­tal age of a 10-year-old is miss­ing in the Franklin dis­trict, south of Auckland.

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

You just know that when social­ist whingers squeal like lit­tle pig­gies about a media commentator’s para­graph then the com­men­ta­tor has prob­a­bly go the sit­u­a­tion spot on.

John Arm­strong serves up a clas­sic today in talk­ing about the trough snuf­flers and how National is going to send them to the bacon factory;

But if there was ever a time to apply the blow­torch to the bureau­cracy it is now. With wide­spread job losses antic­i­pated in the pri­vate sec­tor, not much notice is going to be taken of squeal­ing by the pub­lic sector.

Mmmmm Bacon sarnies…can’t wait.

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

Booyah! Check out this sniper sys­tem– The Chey­Tac M200

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

Com­men­ta­tors Matthew Hooton and John Roughan agree on super and the “Blue Chip” plan of Labour. John Roughan says;

If your income is down in the reces­sion and you are tak­ing on debt to main­tain the family’s liv­ing stan­dard, would you bor­row a bit more to put into a super­an­nu­a­tion fund?

Nor would I. Nor would John Key, Bill Eng­lish, Phil Goff, Jim Ander­ton or Peter Dunne, I sus­pect. Some­times the sim­plest deci­sions test the met­tle of those who lead us.

Nope, no-one sen­si­ble would do it, so one won­ders why Phil Goff wants us to imple­ment Labour’s “Blue Chip” plan and bor­row more so we can save it.

Eng­lish said the ques­tion had yet to be seri­ously con­sid­ered. Anx­iously he added that a sus­pen­sion of con­tri­bu­tions would not affect pay­ments to superannuitants.

This is where Bill Eng­lish gives me the shits. He should have very quickly and very sim­ply scotched the idea of bor­row­ing to fund our future reit­e­ment plans and labeled it voodoo eco­nom­ics. But no, the Dip­stick from Diptn pre­var­i­cates, his default setting.

Goff, smelling fear, declared Labour opposed to sus­pen­sion and called on the Gov­ern­ment to make its posi­tion clear. Ander­ton called it “raid­ing the piggy bank”. Dunne, min­is­ter of tax col­lect­ing, declared it “a very bad idea”.

Goff is act­ing like a des­per­ate soon to be replaced fool, Ander­ton is per­haps the worlds best prat­ic­tioner of voodoo eco­nom­ics and if Peter Dunne thinks some­hing is a good idea then it prob­a­bly isn’t.

Matthew Hooton echoes these sen­ti­ments, but unfor­tu­nately the nean­derthals at NBR don’t see the merit of putting Hootons pearls of wis­dom online but chuck Farrar’s dri­vel up every week. Nev­er­the­less I will re-type some Hootons best parts;No won­der Bill Eng­lish appears con­fused over whether to sus­pend con­tri­bu­tions to the Super­an­nu­a­tion Fund: the eco­nom­ics is all one way and the pol­i­tics all the other.

No ratio­nal house­hold or investor, strug­gling to pay for their gro­ceries – and fore­cast to spend more than they earn every year into the future – would bor­row to invest in global share­mar­kets, notwith­stand­ing cur­rent inter­est rates.

Mr Eng­lish knows this as clearly as anyone.

The only thing Bill ENg­lish knows is to pre­var­i­cate and to lose elections.Mr Eng­lish is not mak­ing the pre­sen­ta­tion of the inevitable any eas­ier in con­fus­ing its rationale.

This week, he said one of the fac­tors dri­ving his think­ing is that the Fund has lost $5.5 bil­lion in 18 months.

“We have to look at whether we are happy at the size of the invest­ment losses we are incur­ring,” he said. “I mean, $5.5b of losses actu­ally wipes out two years of contributions.”

This is the wrong way to look at the issue and it is extra­or­di­nary a Finance Min­is­ter would make such a basic error.

Past per­for­mance of an invest­ment fund says noth­ing about its future per­for­mance, and if Mr Eng­lish is so sure multi-billion-dollar losses are likely then he has an oblig­a­tion not just to sus­pend con­tri­bu­tions but to order the Fund to get the remain­ing $12 bil­lion of our money out of global share­mar­kets right now.

Yeah, and it is right about now that Hooton should ask that Bill Eng­lish just STFU, but Matthew is much too polite for such crass­ness. I, how­ever, have no hes­i­ta­tion at all in doing exactly that.

Hooton makes a good point, if what Bill Eng­lish says is true then lets reef out the the other $12 bil­lion and do some­thing else with it useful.

It makes no sense at all to con­tinue to bor­row after Michael Cullen wan­tonly destroyed the legacy of Bill Birch and Ruth Richard­son and left New Zealand fac­ing a decade of deficits.

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

If the Police Min­is­ter wants to know why the pub­lic con­fi­dence in the police force has fallen to pre­vi­ously unknown depths then you need look no fur­ther than the story today about a “top” cop refus­ing to take a breath test.

Looks like there is one rule for them and another for the rest of us.

“One of the country’s top police offi­cers has been cleared of wrong­do­ing for refus­ing to take a breath test after he was reported dri­ving home errat­i­cally from a police bar.”

“Super­in­ten­dent Gra­ham Thomas, the head of police pros­e­cu­tions at Police National Head­quar­ters, has been cleared by a police inves­ti­ga­tion and is now on six months’ paid “med­ical rehabilitation”.

Six months med­ical reha­bil­i­ta­tion – cop PR speak for dry­ing out.

The papers reg­u­larly have lists of peo­ple con­victed for refus­ing breath tests. The TV shows that have cam­eras fol­low­ing around Motor­way cops show peo­ple who refuse breath tests being arrested and taken to the sta­tion. Why should this guy be any different?

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]

Mmmm – Michael Wood, a for­mer Labour can­di­date, City Vision can­di­date and union offi­cial is caught out using three month old infor­ma­tion, now superceded by recently released pub­lic infor­ma­tion, to lie to the pub­lic. Now that’s what I call dis­hon­est…. but pre­cisely the sort of des­per­ate blather we expect from the hucksters, weirdoes and failed cen­tral gov­ern­ment politi­cians we see in City Vision.

Poor Michael Wood – shut out in 2004, 2007 and no doubt thrashed soundly again in 2010.

“Woody” has an envi­able record in gen­eral elec­tions too, get­ting soundly thrashed by Mau­rice Williamson two elec­tions in a row. His blog­ging expe­ri­ence hasn’t been much chop either with at least three failed attempts at blogging.

It seems he wants to take down Just Left as well by join­ing Jordan’s lit­tle bunch of merry “men”.

Pop­u­lar­ity: 1% [?]